The rise of Gorok Gorz

[Gorok Gorz]

Has anyone read The rise of Gorok Gorz on the fan fiction bit of the site? If yes what did you think?

I'm in the process of putting together the next bit and wanna work out if its worth it. What did you like, what was naff, was it understandable?

It will also be good to hear from other Ork freaks who might help by othering up some Orky ideas

look forward to hearing from you all.

[IBBoard]

I'll have to give you more feedback later (I just saw this post and I'm setting off for holiday in less than an hour - see the Colorado post in General Chat). As a basic feedback, it was definately understandable, although there were some things that I changed for grammar and one or two bits that seemed a bit out-of-style. I can't remember it quite at the moment, but there was at least one bit where it seemed overly descriptive for Orks, and not quite things that they would notice or describe. The most obvious one I can think of at the moment is the little bit about his height and weight - something more general might fit better.

If you email the next chapters to me when they're done, I'll try to get them back when I get back (some time into the New Year by the time I recover and see my family)

[Gorok Gorz]

I found the difficult thing about writing from an ork persective was describing things.

The Orks outward nature is violent and brutish, but Orks will notice details (even if he doesnt care about that deatail) and make descions based on what they see i.e the troopers purple uniform. This would be done almost without the Ork noticing it.

Now here's where the writer becomes defensive ** sorry cant help it **

The above mentioned point about the orks height and weight was just the writer being discriptive. Though im sure there are holes in the story.

Come on people - more comments, good or bad (though please keep it nice)

[IBBoard]

Sorry to make you feel you had to be defensive - my girlfriend is a Fanfiction writer (for Harry Potter - she even got a mention in a magazine article in the US!) and I know how sensetive she can be, and the comments she makes about beta readers (she runs the Perfect Imagination beta reader directory for Harry Potter fanfiction).

I think the main problem with the description of the Ork was that it was overly verbose. Most people know what Orks are and their rough sizes, so listing height and weight seemed a little strange. The fact that it was American style might have made it stand out more.

I'll see about reading it again after the New Year and see if I can give you some more feedback

[IBBoard]

If you want feedback, it's now available for the general public I've added a review section for each story, so some people may, at some point, put in the effort to review your story I'll try to find the time to give it a read over soon.

Any news on the completed version?