Warhammer Fantasy FanFic

[mike12345]

Warhammer Fantasy fanfiction about a unit of State Troopers from the Empire sent to accompany two witch hunters back to the capitol, carrying a dangerous prisoner.
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Erich sat alone at the corner of the tavern, arms crossed and a cowl over his head as he silently watched the inhabitants of the tavern go about their daily lives. Underneath the dirt matted cloak he wore was a shiny metal breastplate with blue and white cloth under it. A symbol on the left breast of his chest plate indicated his rank of captain among the Empire's 17th Halbredier Unit. Scattered across the bar was a few of his best men, fighters whose skills almost rivaled his own. It was because of these skills that Erich's unit was handpicked to be an escort to a duo of Witch hunters and their recent captive.

A similarly cloaked figure brushed by Erich and leaned on a wall close to him. "The men are getting impatient captain." The flash of dark blue eyes informed Erich that the man speaking was his second in command, Karl. He was a man whose veterancy was often doubted because of his youthful appearance. Many times Erich would have to vouch for his second in command when others doubted his veteran rank.

Erich cracked his fingers and waved a waitress with pretty blonde hair over. He flashed her a warm smile as she approached them, slowly balancing several mugs on one plate. "Tell them a bit longer Karl." His second in command nodded before making his way over to other cloaked soldiers, their agitated looks present on their faces. Erich shook his head before accepting a mug from the maid. "Thank you madam." The waitress offered him a warm smile and said something else in a language Erich did not understand. Probably a foreigner he thought.

Suddenly the doors swung open, the harsh shriek of wind swept into the bar. Several patrons grumbled in annoyance while Erich's soldiers seemed to grab for their hidden weapons. A stern and quite order caused them to murmur among themselves, their hands slowly backing away from their belts. A single figure walked through the door casually, hands at his sides and his hat tipped upwards. Erich stood up slowly; the man's hat was one that was worn only by the Inquisitors of the Empire, of its witch hunters.


"Are any among you soldiers of the Empire?" The Inquisitor's booming voice and boasting attitude upset Erich a great deal as the Empire's soldiers were not generally loved by the populace of most towns living near the forests, due to their absence in several raids on their town by the savage beastmen tribes living in the forests to the south.

"Aye that would be us." Erich walked slowly towards the Inquisitor, pulling his cap down and revealing a blue and white headband wrapped around his head. His men pulled their cowls down as well, revealing messy brown or blonde hair with the occasional blue headband his men were identifiable for. Karl had no hair on his head save for a single line that ran from the back of his head to the middle of the top of his forehead.

The Inquisitor looked first at Erich, then his unit. "Damn nobles send us peasants to escort this prisoner?" he said with disgust, spitting on the floor in front of Erich. Karl and several of Erich’s men began to step towards the hunter, their hands gripping the handles of their swords.

“Who you calling peasant witch hunter?!” Erich gritted his teeth as the situation began going downhill. Several tavern patrons seemed to sense this as well, heading out back doors or escaping upstairs.

“You dare question me knave? Be you a heretic as well?” The Inquisitor reached for his belt with impressive speed, spinning a brace of pistols fancily before aiming them at Karl and another soldier. They all stopped simultaneously, eyes concentrated on the hunter and his pistols. Erich knew first hand of the deadly accuracy of the Inquisitor’s, having suffered a bullet wound to his arm several years back due to being too close to the hunter’s target. He rubbed the scar on his arm for a moment before raising his hands at his men and the hunter.

“We’re not heretics Inquisitor and we definitely aren’t knaves. We are the 17th Halbredier Unit, sent by our captain to accompany the Witch hunters Desmond Adler and Al Mara Illahad.” The Inquisitor lowered his weapons a bit, still eyeing Erich and his men suspiciously.

"What's your name and rank soldier?"

"Erich Von Richtofen, Captain."

"Desmond Adler." the Inquisitor said, lowering his weapons. Erich motioned to his men to lower their weapons, which they reluctantly did. "So you soldiers think you're competent enough to help us?"

"There's no unit better, witch hunter." Karl said with a small grin on his face. The men around him chuckled, earning a stern scowl from their Captain. The Inquisitor shook his head before motioning towards the front door.

"Let's make haste then Halbrediers. We shouldn't keep the prisoner waiting..."

**********************************************************************************So my first Warhammer Fanfiction I've posted on this site. Don't worry it's original and one I just thought up of this morning. As you can see it isn't finished yet, but if I get at least one person who says this is a decent story, I'll probably expand on it. 

[IBBoard]

It sounds like an interesting start to a story. The names and the characters work quite well so far, although I'm not sure if a Sergeant would be sufficiently highly ranked to be leading the unit.

There were a couple of grammatical mistakes and at least one bit that seemed to be missing a word (the Witch Hunter reached and spun something, but you didn't find out until a subsequent sentence what it was), but they were quite minor overall.