Wielding The Emperor's Flame

[Defestus Reinen]

Before I begin typing up this story, I would like to make sure it is understood. I have recently started playing Battlefleet Gothic, and would like to write a short story to gauge the success of this type of thing. As such, could you please reply with any requests for the story, or feedback on the idea.
Thanks,
Defestus
P.S. I intend to start work on the 20th March.

[IBBoard]

The forum can be a bit quiet, so you might not get too many responses, but a Battlefleet Gothic story sounds quite interesting. You'd be able to get a good range of situations if you wanted (captains and control on the deck, the lowly labour, the Techpriests and their ancient ceremonies, the chaos of a crippled ship, and so-on), so I'd be interested to see what you can do with it

[Defestus Reinen]

<File: Emperor's Flame>
<Classified/: Reference Only>
<Specifications Follow>

Laid Down: 859.M40
Commisioned: 020.M41
Complement: 31900 Ratings/ 1150 Officers/ 7600 Guardsmen
Armament: 28 Torpedo Launchers/ 900 Plasma Projectors/ 400 Rail Guns/ 150 Laser Cannons/ 150 Graviton Pulsars/ 9 Lance Batteries/ 2 Nova Cannons
Capacity: 200 Fury Fighters/ 300 Starhawk Bombers/ 60 Shark Assault Boats

Additional Data-
The Emperor's Flame is the first of a new Class of Battlecruiser, unique in that it features internal armour, in the form of solid Adamantium blocks.First Captain, Admiral Jax Creed, perished on routine proofing, after attack from <Redacted>.
Refit in Port Primar. Now on aid mission to Cadia with Space Wolf Liberator Fleet under Admiral Ophelis Grax.
<File Corrupted/ Execute>

'Damn terminal!'
Alon Lincoln smacked the casing.
'You would think that on a ship like this, the basic tech would at least work.'
Alon turned, and stalked off to his cabin. On the door, his nameplate read 'Gunnery Officer, First Class- Lincoln'. Lincoln loved his ship, but he hated the terminals; they were incredibly outmoded, from the spares at Port Primar, and often too slow to open any files of use. Thankfully, his job did not require a great deal of work with terminals, as he spent most of his time running around the gun decks, keeping the crews in order. However, in the warp, all gun decks were emptied, meaning that until the fleet arrived in the Cadian System, he was useless. With this knowledge, Alon went to sleep in happiness.

'ALARM!'
The ship rocked as another rail blast impacted on the shields. The fire had been murderous ever since the Flame's warp exit. The fleet had exited in the center of a renegade fleet, and was now battling for its existence. Alon ran down through the ranks of gunners. Most had fearful looks on their faces. He ran for the hatch as he heard the fizzle of the collapsing shields and felt the heat of the ozone layer collapse. Atmospheric bulkheads slammed down over all the gun ports, leaving a vaccum seal around the barrels of the weapons. However, the entire crew knew how ineffectual these measure were. The sudden rush of bodies crushed Alon against the auspexes of a spotter station. He watched as a fusillade of torpedoes struck the the auspex sensors, and laughed to himself as the flames engulfed all souls on the port gunnery decks.

Alfonse Bront felt the ship's inertial compensators fail momentarily as he dropped the ammo crate. The port launch bays were a scene of havoc as the Fury fighters were fuelled and loaded. Grav slates carried mountains of slugs from the magazine, and walkers carried torpedoes to the Starhawk bombers. Alfonse ducked as a flight of Furies sped over his head, the heat wash distorting the air around him. Even as he watched, a lone Starhawk sped into the hangar, belching flame from its starboard engine. Engineer crews rushed forward with vaccum extinguishers, ready to aid the foundering vessels as it landed. Alfonse ran towards the landing zone, grabbing an aid pack. Even as the bomber touched down, Alfonse leapt onto the cockpit, punching the release pad on the weapon nacelle. The bolts holding the framework of the cockpit exploded, releasing the pilot and crew. Alfonse reached in, and pulled the pilot, who was badly wounded, into a waiting engineer's arms. Suddenly, without warning, the hangar doors slammed shut. Alfonse understood. He ran to the wall, grabbing the intercom terminal, and keying in the code for the armoury.
'Boarders in the port launch bays!' he cried into he microphone.
'Detachment of Guardsmen despatched.' came the calm reply.
Turning towards the ammo lift, Alfonse awaited the support. Although the armoury was located amidships, a good 3 or 4 miles away, the high speed grav- train could transport troops anywhere forward of the magazine. Yet even as the warning sirens announced the arrival of the Guardsmen, Alfonse heard the thud of power armor on adamantium, and knew his life was forfeit. He turned and watched the Traitor Space Marines rip the crew apart.

Lieutenant Jac Locerd steadied himself against the hatch as another blast racked the ship. He awaited the inevitable charge of the Traitor Marines along the tunnel. So far, the crew who survived the destruction of the port batteries had managed to hold off vaccum assault troops simply by blocking as many bulkheads as possible, and venting thermal exhaust through any exposed vents. This combination of measures prevented anyone from attacking the repair crews. Their only purpose was to prevent any bulkheads or ports from coming free.
Jac knew that once all routes were covered, he would be sent to the magazine store, to hold the heretics off until the Space Wolves could assist.

[IBBoard]

Interesting start. It jumps around a bit between characters, so you could probably set the scene a bit more in each section to make a longer and more descriptive story. That'd also let you focus more on the ship-based part, which is fairly unique to this story, rather than bring in the Guardsmen, which will become a battle fairly similar to a lot of other on-planet stories.

I did notice a couple of typos in there - "ruch" of bodies and the "flet" exited the warp

[Defestus Reinen]

My idea behind the short story segments was to show the speed that a ship could fall. I intend to revisit some of them at a later time.

[IBBoard]

Fair enough - if it is a longer story then that might be more fitting, but in those short few paragraphs it just seemed to be a bit jumpy.